Claire: Agggg!

today I was feeling the pressure from my dad to get a job where I'm higher up than @ my current position- which I agree with, I also know that I just can't seem to find one right now. I kinda wish he'd back off, I'm not sure exactly what I'd like to do. I want to have a career that allows me to be creative, helps other people in a meaningful way and will challenge me both intellectually and creatively. Oh and pays well too.

Ok, update:
Food: egg, cereal w/soymilk, a nectarine and a banana; Iced Skinny Vanilla Latte; PBJ sandwich and baby carrots; two eggs, tortilla and a little bit of cheddar cheese; lentil soup and corn leftovers from last night with a piece of cheesy bread.
Calories: approximately 1650-1700 (WAY too high!)
Water: 83.6 oz (having a water bottle on hand make this so much easier)
Exercise: walked the 3.5 miles to work and while was at work I was constantly moving!
Protein: approximately 61.6g - 65.6 g

On a happier note- today was pretty good! I hung out with one of my bros, Aaron, and had a good conversation with my older bro, Casey. Plus it was a rain free day today!!!

Claire: Truth Be Told

Like Laila said, we hung out a bunch this weekend. But honestly, I choose to abandon my healthy choices this weekend. And I'm ashamed about it. Here I am trying to live a healthier life and make better choices as well as the fact I'm doing this with Laila and then I come up with the "great idea" of getting ice cream and making a cake?!? I let my stress and frustrations derail me. I don't know why this happens, but it's like I sabotage myself every time. I get to the same point in my weight-loss and it stalls for a little bit and I go off, by %$# choice! I hate it....

I didn't count today and haven't done any exercise for a WHILE. Been eating junk too. I won't let this be like "every other time" because I'm going to stick with it, I won't let this temporary setback keep me from success. I know, without a doubt, that I can do this, that I can reach my goals.

So starting tomorrow (technically today now) I'm going back to counting my calories, exercising daily, and keeping track of my water too. I need to set up a reward system or something for the little goals that I achieve. Right now I'm just really really mad about the stupid decisions I made this weekend. I had lost 11 pounds and now I'm back up 5.6 pounds. Thankfully I still fit into my new jeans and my old pants are all still too big. :)

Claire: Day 34

Got to say that today has been another crap day. I woke up from a terrifying dream in which Jaws trying to eat me while I hung on for dear life from a bridge that had collapsed. (I'm so terrified of sharks, it was a horrible dream). This is never a good start for a day. I did get to go shopping for my work clothes, which is a very good thing!

Food: I don't know, subway, pbj? and a strawberry yogurt and some other stuff...
Calories: didn't count today. (Stress is a HUGE factor here)
Water: trying to get more in
Exercise: don't ask

Frankly, I am stressed about starting a new job. I'm supposed to be training with some guy but I don't know where I'm supposed to meet him or what's the hey-diddly is going on. I'm stressed about working at a job that's only part time and isn't getting me any closer to any of the things I would like to do for a career. I'm stressed because of all of this and more.

Positive things:
I have a job
I have food and a home and family and a few friends
I have good health and clothing, a bed and freedom
(There is a lot to be thankful Claire, COME ON)